As Super Bowl Sunday came to a close, I was left with that all too familiar feeling of guilt, accompanied by self loathing and utter repulsion by what I had done. Although, in my defense, it wasn't really ME. It was "past me". You know, that rat bastard version of yourself that disregards consequence in the name of instant gratification? Yep. That's the one. Sneaky little SOB isn't he/she? Surfacing only when you are at your most vulnerable...parties, holidays, driving past Taco Bell etc.
In any case, Past Me (which I will now capitalize to avoid any possible confusion) had quite an indulgent Sunday. It all started with a glass of cheap wine (doesn't everything?). I told myself that one little libation wouldn't hurt, so long as I didn't give in to the false temptress that is "Chile con Queso". Well, a funny thing happened upon gulping down those rose tinted sulfites. I lost all control. I'm talking full on, gluttonous, caveman shit. Forget about the fists full of chips cloaked in microwaved cheese sauce or the 5 bacon wrapped mini hot dogs. The most deplorable of acts occurred when I began slopping crab dip on Ritz crackers...which are, lets face it, the white trash of the cracker community. Fucking sick.
Once the food high ceased, and the denial subsided, I realized I had only one person to blame. Past Me. I mean, I take very good care of my body, certainly I would not have made such contemptible culinary choices. Had Present Me been at that Super Bowl soiree, the aforementioned massacre would've been but a fable. But alas, I was nowhere to be found and my waistline has to suffer the consequence of my negligence.
And so, with the turning down of the sheets and the switching off of the light, came the usual Sunday night promise..."My diet starts Monday".
Aww Hannah, we even talked about it BEFORE the parties! I made turkey bacon-wrapped jalapenos(WAY better than hot dogs, dude!), and homemade guacamole and hummus to go with some organic blue corn tortillas and wheat thins! Oh but I do know the words "my diet starts Monday" all too well! I slip up about once or twice a week. I like food! I just find a way to make my favorites a little healthier, so I don't feel so bad about it the next day!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean Hannah Banana but with Superbowl Sunday also being bday wkend, I hurled myself off the wagon and into the drunken oblivion of alcohol and grease. Let me tell you, months of practicing "clean eating" made for one big bloated stomach ache!! Not fun! I am pursuing this lifestyle to be a more healthy me, not just to look good in tiny dresses, and I feel terrible still. Physically, mentally only a little since seeing the extra bulge bothers me but I just want to go back to feeling 100% Cant wait to read future entries!
ReplyDeleteI feel like double white trash. Not only do I enjoy the buttery taste of ritz crackers but I also enjoy white bread. Makes me feel like a racist.Ugh. Luckily this blog was created since I am actually starting a diet as of tomorrow. Why? Because im sitting here eating croutons out of a bag. Dont you judge me.
ReplyDeleteAllison,
ReplyDeleteI KNOW! Im telling you, i have serous self control issues. Im either 100% committed to the cause or Im shoveling pringles into my mouth. But, thats also why we are doing this blog, bc I too, could use some support.
Angie,
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by...and thanks for relating. AS sick as it sounds, Im secretly a little happy that I wasnt the only Poor Choice Patty over the weekend. As I said to Allison, this is what this blog is for...to lean on one another, to bitch to one another, and to (hopefully) share our success w one another. Stay tuned for more posts!
Kim,
ReplyDeleteYou know how I feel about white bread, so I wont even comment at this time. As for the croutons? Thats the only way I eat them...who has time for salad making when you can enjoy them straight from the container?!
On da real doe...are you truly starting a diet? If so, please feel free to contact Allison and myself on this blog. We're here to help sister, and I dont mean that in a joshing way. We really are hoping to mprove the life quality of those around us.
Thanks for stoppng by!